"No one can dare say that he is a virgin in this world; Life....screws all", said my friend during one of our many such heated discussions. Indeed, I thought. Indeed. How aptly he had put it in words.

In the hustle and bustle of our daily life, no one has the leisure, or time, should I say, to sit and write his views like I do. But then again.....that's why I am I.
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease. But, death......is hereditary" his words ring in my mind again.

He who has taken birth, will have to die someday. words of wisdom by our ancestors. Death.....one of the world's most unsolved mysteries as yet. where do we go after death, if at all we do? Is there life again after death?

Life : The choicest thing on the face of this earth. To Live : the ability to experience Life.
Do you say you have the ability to live it? No...I would say no.Don't give me that tripe again.Do not tell me that you are living. That your staying alive is living. It takes more guts to end your life, than to stay alive.

"Why is that everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die?" my illustrious friend chips in again. Since, as of now, death is not in our hands, why don't we take advantage of the one that is? why don't we live life as we choose to? Why don't we drive it in the direction we want it to? Why are we burdened with as many prejudices? Why do we always see more of thedarker side, than the brighter one? why do we compare our lives to that of ours and drown ourselves in self-pity? Why do we console ourselves by saying that this is life? That the wheel of fortune will turn towards us someday?

How? I ask. Who is going to do it? God... you say? Oh ! please...spare me that line....

Come on..chin up...Life can't be as bad as that. If YOU can't make your life better, then I assure you, no one else can.

Do not regret your decisions. If you do, you would never be wiser. Do not yearn to be someone else. If you do, you don't know your value. Do not rue your life. If you do, you don't know how valuable it is. Life.....is too precious an asset to be traded.

Know yourself. Know your strength. Know that your life can be lived. Know that even you can be as glad as I am, and as proud, that I am RITHISH SARALAYA.
If only... If only.... Attitudes were contagious. Mine would have been worth catching.

PS: I have written this without having any particular person in mind. But still, if you feel it does relate to someone, then its pure coincidence.....

Its been almost 4 months since I moved to my new dwelling.Its equivalent to Eden.... yaar.. Eden...

Only a selected few have had the oppurtunity to see it..
WELCOME TO "ALCATRAZ" OF BANGALORE...:DWell... That's what my friends call my place....

If you never had the chance to visit Alcatraz, the place from where you can neither get in or out without being noticed, you shud come to my room..

The gates of our building are so impregnable, that it would put off even the halehearted of men....even blackbeard the pirate and the 40 thieves of ali baba's times......

And if you are inclined on seeing god who lives in, you cud try either of the ways....

You can either stand in front of the gate and sing "knocking on heaven's door", at the top of ur voice , like eric clapton, and pray that Ihear you......... or else, you could ring the bell and pray that aunty doesnt pout 'cos you woke her frm her slumber.... :D In any case, dont even think of trying what I do to get the gates opened, for in the process, you might get yourself handicapped for life...

phew.... good thing that am as flexible as I am.. But I tell u.... Its worth it... Its worth going through all these obstacles, for once you cross them, you come to the top of the world.....( my room is on the terrace)

Its true Eden..... Eden in true Indian ishtyle....
Of course minus Eve though...

It's evening, and yet another Bangalorean winter in the setting. There goes another day wasted, without my talent being used, I ruefully think. A light breeze is blowing, and the sun seems to have hidden itself behind the clouds. A perfect evening for a walk, I think, and I set out.

Vijayanagar is a nice place to stroll about, quite a bit of greenery, beaytiful houses, and an ornithologist's delight.

I was pushing my brain to remember where I had seen that girl before, who distinctly seemed to have smiled at me, when, someone taps my shoulder.

"Excuse me !!"
"Yes......." I retort.
He didnt look like he was lost, and he certainly didn't look like a beggar.
"My name is Rajeev Muthulingam".
"Rithish Saralaya" I said, shaking his hand.
"I stay quite nearby. Just down the lane.............."

I eyed him with curiosity. I have had my share of experiences with gays who had made vain passes at me before. So, I wasn't shocked. Instead, curiosity set into me. 'How is it going to be this time?' I thought.

Involuntarily, a smile had made it's way on my sedate face. He seemed to be encouraged by this, and promptly dished out a card.
'Come, visit, listen, experience, and rediscover God' it said.
"We conduct these services every weekend" he said "It is for the people, so they will uderstand God. Our teacher is an illustrious and learned one. I myself am an active member of the club. You are welcome to come and enjoy the experience. Our teacher says, every man needs God, for......"
"I don't believe in your God" I cut in flatly.
He was taken aback. Obviously, no one had answered him like this before. But, by jove, did he recover fast?
"But we don't care.." he added "We just want you to come and experience....."
"what?"
"huh?"
"What did you just say?"
"We don't care whether you believe or not......"
"You don't?"
"Well.....no..."
"Then why do you want me to come?"
silence............
"Actually, even I was a non-believer like you before" he said "But then I saw the truth and realised the mistake I was commiting by failing to see what I should have".
"What?" I asked.
He continued with a virtuous look on his face "That God is the truth. God is the giver. We are nothing. We are only puppets in his hands. That's why I believe that all should bow to God and.............."
"Oh cut that crap. Will you?" I snapped.
He looked as if he had been slapped.
"Why don't you believe in God?" he accused, as if I was committing a sin by not.
"I never said that".
"But you just did".
"I said I don't believe in YOUR God".
"Oh...what's the difference?"
"A lot. If God is one to whom I feel indebted to, for she has brought me up with love and care, then yes, my Mother is my God. If God is someone who makes me see the truth, then yes, my mind is my God. If God is someone who brings me up from the dumps when I am down, then, I AM GOD. And..." I added smiling "If you are taliking of cricket, then of course, there is Sachin".
He was watching me gawky eyed all this time.
"Why do you refuse to believe...." he persisted "in our God?"
"Because your God doesn't exist".
"huh?"
"because your God is only faith".
"How can you be sure??....so sure of yourself??" but he sounded as if he wasn't.
"Do you believe in ghosts?" I asked.
"What?" he asked bewildered, by the sudden veer in the conversation.
"You know...the Devil".
"No".
"Why?"
"Because they don't exist".
"In your own words then....how can you be sure??" I laughed.
His face distorted, realisisng the truthin what he said.
"You see" I said "You think different, but believe elsewise. Thinking and believing cannot part ways".
He looked at me confused.
"How do you say left, when there is no right? How do you see light, if there is no darkness? How do you define good if there is no evil? How can God exist, if there is no Devil?....Now, do you see why I don't believe?"
"What do you believe in then?" he asked, refusing to.
"I believe in FACTS. Not FAITH." I said "You have never posed questions have you? You have taken it for granted that God exists. Because your fathers believed so, and so did their fathers before them. And this is an act of faith I don't believe in. I said I beleieve in Facts. And the Fact is that , I Exist.. And I believe in myself".
"How selfish........"he accused.
"Is it a sin?" I countered.
"It's nothing but your ego talking".
"No. It's my esteem".
He stared back, vacant eyed.
"Esteem is acknowledging the fact that I have power to take my own decisions. That I have the power to think".
"And pray tell me what is ego then?" he sneered.
"Refusing to acknowledge the fact that even others have the power".
"I am getting late" he fidgeted, glancing furtively at his watch.
"I have never kept you" I smiled, handing his card back.
"Oh no ! Please do keep that. Will you be kind enough to pass it on to someone else?"
"I will not".

He took one look at my impassive face, pocketed the card, and scurried away.

If there is any feeling I hate in this world, it's pity. And he damned almost made me feel it. I watched him for a while, and suddenly realised that all that talking had left me famished.

Iyengar's bakery...............here I come..