I recently read somewhere that pigs can have an orgasm for a half of an hour..and that lions can mate 50 times a day... No sooner did I inform this crazy dude of this piece of information that he started wailing, "O Lord!!! Why wasn't I born a pig?? Why but why??" I tried my best at consolation... That his present human existance wasn't far lagging behind; that he bathed only twice a week; that he jelled and welled comfortably in the pitiful surroundings of his own making; that if he kept at it consistently with renewed vigour, he would one day BE what he chose to BE... The king of the sties... but all my efforts were in vain.. No amount of encouraging words would put his heart to rest.. He was like a shoe without laces ( as in Salman's own words in Mujhse Shaadi Karogi ).
He was never like this as I knew him before.. He was a sweet, nice, gentle, innocent, adorable kid.. So much so that in 2 weeks time, no one could stand the sight of him in class.. He would sit in the park, on the bench, which was always wet with paint, with 2 of his best friends, who hated him more than he did them, and tell them stories which would make him throw up, if ever he heard them himself.."Am I sitting on your hand??" he would ask one.. "Uh.. I don't think so..""Am I sitting on your hand??" he would ask the other.."Uh.. I don't think so.." "These 2 are mine. Aren't they??" he would say stretching his palms in front."Uh.. We guess so..""Then whose goddamn hand is tickling my butt??"wham.. bam.. crunch.. The only human daring to seperate 3 fiercely fighting crazy kids has to be an even fiercely crazy teacher.. There was no dearth of those too... "Now I want all of you to pay close attention to me, and not interrupt in the middle.. Do I make myself clear??" he would ask. "Yes Sir..." we would chorus.. "Didn't I ask you not to interrupt?? Get out of the class, all of you !!!"
People are not only the crazy ones around.. Crazy things happen to you too.. Like this one time when I was in bed with this girl, that out of the blue she said,
"Darling.. I think I am going to have your baby!!"
"You must be crazy!!" I said.
"Sweetheart.. I mean it!!", said she.
"So do I!!", said I.
The next thing I know, there is a "poof", and I am sitting bolt upright in bed sweating like the Niagara... Why does this always happen to me?? Why can't dreams stay as dreams than turn into nightmares??
Crazy!! Shit crazy!! Go figure!!!
He was never like this as I knew him before.. He was a sweet, nice, gentle, innocent, adorable kid.. So much so that in 2 weeks time, no one could stand the sight of him in class.. He would sit in the park, on the bench, which was always wet with paint, with 2 of his best friends, who hated him more than he did them, and tell them stories which would make him throw up, if ever he heard them himself.."Am I sitting on your hand??" he would ask one.. "Uh.. I don't think so..""Am I sitting on your hand??" he would ask the other.."Uh.. I don't think so.." "These 2 are mine. Aren't they??" he would say stretching his palms in front."Uh.. We guess so..""Then whose goddamn hand is tickling my butt??"wham.. bam.. crunch.. The only human daring to seperate 3 fiercely fighting crazy kids has to be an even fiercely crazy teacher.. There was no dearth of those too... "Now I want all of you to pay close attention to me, and not interrupt in the middle.. Do I make myself clear??" he would ask. "Yes Sir..." we would chorus.. "Didn't I ask you not to interrupt?? Get out of the class, all of you !!!"
People are not only the crazy ones around.. Crazy things happen to you too.. Like this one time when I was in bed with this girl, that out of the blue she said,
"Darling.. I think I am going to have your baby!!"
"You must be crazy!!" I said.
"Sweetheart.. I mean it!!", said she.
"So do I!!", said I.
The next thing I know, there is a "poof", and I am sitting bolt upright in bed sweating like the Niagara... Why does this always happen to me?? Why can't dreams stay as dreams than turn into nightmares??
Crazy!! Shit crazy!! Go figure!!!
