Marriage Fundas  

Posted by Rithish

I get a lot of advice these days... How to tell if your mate woke up on the wrong side of the bed; how best can you read those subtle hints; how to carefully choose your words; and so on... Though, expressing these here might not be considered as prude; nevertheless, I found it prudent to share it with all. After all, why should only I be the beneficiary !!!

Shopping Funda 1
Women love shopping. Period !!! If they love shopping; then you have to too. Period !!! However, there are ways in which you can play clever (read, dumb) and make your heart-rate beat normal. For eg., when you are just about to enter the shop, you can say, "Oh !!! I forgot the credit cards at home !!!". and then you can open your wallet as proof and drop all the 25 and 50 ps coins into her palm. "Come, I will buy you some peanuts instead !!!" But beware you don't try this too many times; 'cos your wife will wisen up to it. Acting dumb has its distinct advantages. Doesn't it?

Shopping Funda 2
If you enter a large store (like Shopper's Stop), be sure to steer clear of the cosmetics department. It's that, that fleeces you most, and nothing else. You would be surprised to know that a pencil (looks like a crayon that can be bought in a stationery store), could cost as much as 5 movie tickets at the inox. Beware !!! Your pants will drop off, and you will never even know it !!!

Don't Shoot From The Hip
Choose your words carefully when you speak. Women are gifted with the memory of an elephant. One wrong word here, and it will be bored into you the rest of your life. For eg., when you reach home at the end of the day, do not ask, "what's there for dinner?"; unless of course you like listening to music. You never know, what could have gone wrong in the day; the maid may have not come; you are maybe out of cooking gas, and have forgotten to book for it (all are your fault). So, always ask, "what did you have for dinner?". That's the safest way. You will know immediately, if you are having food at home or outside.

Cricket Is Not Everything
"Cricket is Life !!! Rest is mere Detail !!!" is the motto of a bachelor; and not a married man. Cricket is not everything. Everything is, everything else, but Cricket.

Attention !!! Attention !!! Attention !!!
You might think that you can relax, once you reach home. Well then !!! Think Again !!! You have to really stretch your attention span to listen and respond to everything your mate says. It's not like those board-room meetings where, you can happily doze off with your eyes wide open. You are expected to participate in your personal life, as much as you do in your office-life.

The Defining Year
Contrary to popular belief, the defining period of your marriage is the second year, and not the first. The first year, you and your spouse will be more than happy to pardon each other on their mistakes. However, this gradually wears down on your patience. So, be very careful of the second year. It defines which way your marraige goes !!!

Well !!! I guess most of Tally-ites would have guessed by now, who my advisor is. ;o) Hope it helps you all !!!