I am just about to fall sleep, when my wife comes near me and whispers "Happy Monthiversary !!!" in my ears.

It's been a month since I became a Gruhastha, and some are baying for my blood to write about my experiences about it. Be sure folks, that I will have a lot more to say in about a-decade-or-two to come. More on that later. Now is not the time !!!

The Transition
The single-most difficult thing that I had a struggle with, was the transition from "I" to "We". As most true-bachelors will tell you, I never had to look further than myself for anything that required consideration. It was always my decisions; always my choice; always my thoughts; always my likings; that ever mattered. Baaki gaye tel bechne !!! With marriage, I have learned that "she" is also a big part of the things that require consideration. And with time, it's become our decisions; our choices; our thoughts; our likings. It takes two to tango; in a dance, or in a fight.

The incessant Question
All the people I have met in the past month almost, always, open a conversation with the query "So? How is life after marriage?" By far the second-most difficult thing that I had to encounter since marriage. "Uh !! Duh !!! Good !!!" is all I manage to come up with; feeble though it may sound. It is feeble indeed, as I gather from the expressions of those who hear it. Such a boring guy!!! Really!!!

Well !!! What do I say !!! I am still naive !!!

I get a lot of advice these days... How to tell if your mate woke up on the wrong side of the bed; how best can you read those subtle hints; how to carefully choose your words; and so on... Though, expressing these here might not be considered as prude; nevertheless, I found it prudent to share it with all. After all, why should only I be the beneficiary !!!

Shopping Funda 1
Women love shopping. Period !!! If they love shopping; then you have to too. Period !!! However, there are ways in which you can play clever (read, dumb) and make your heart-rate beat normal. For eg., when you are just about to enter the shop, you can say, "Oh !!! I forgot the credit cards at home !!!". and then you can open your wallet as proof and drop all the 25 and 50 ps coins into her palm. "Come, I will buy you some peanuts instead !!!" But beware you don't try this too many times; 'cos your wife will wisen up to it. Acting dumb has its distinct advantages. Doesn't it?

Shopping Funda 2
If you enter a large store (like Shopper's Stop), be sure to steer clear of the cosmetics department. It's that, that fleeces you most, and nothing else. You would be surprised to know that a pencil (looks like a crayon that can be bought in a stationery store), could cost as much as 5 movie tickets at the inox. Beware !!! Your pants will drop off, and you will never even know it !!!

Don't Shoot From The Hip
Choose your words carefully when you speak. Women are gifted with the memory of an elephant. One wrong word here, and it will be bored into you the rest of your life. For eg., when you reach home at the end of the day, do not ask, "what's there for dinner?"; unless of course you like listening to music. You never know, what could have gone wrong in the day; the maid may have not come; you are maybe out of cooking gas, and have forgotten to book for it (all are your fault). So, always ask, "what did you have for dinner?". That's the safest way. You will know immediately, if you are having food at home or outside.

Cricket Is Not Everything
"Cricket is Life !!! Rest is mere Detail !!!" is the motto of a bachelor; and not a married man. Cricket is not everything. Everything is, everything else, but Cricket.

Attention !!! Attention !!! Attention !!!
You might think that you can relax, once you reach home. Well then !!! Think Again !!! You have to really stretch your attention span to listen and respond to everything your mate says. It's not like those board-room meetings where, you can happily doze off with your eyes wide open. You are expected to participate in your personal life, as much as you do in your office-life.

The Defining Year
Contrary to popular belief, the defining period of your marriage is the second year, and not the first. The first year, you and your spouse will be more than happy to pardon each other on their mistakes. However, this gradually wears down on your patience. So, be very careful of the second year. It defines which way your marraige goes !!!

Well !!! I guess most of Tally-ites would have guessed by now, who my advisor is. ;o) Hope it helps you all !!!

Family

My friend stands solemnly in the middle of the room, readying for his speech. It's a difficult thing this; doing what he has to do now, but do he has to. And so, he clears his throat, and calls upon all. "Dear mates. I know you all have been living comfortably in the pitiful surroundings I've made. With great regret in my heart, I have to ask you to pack your belongings and leave. The act I am going to embark upon now, is something that's not wanted by me, nevertheless, I presume it's for the good of all." And so saying, he starts cleaning the room. No sooner he does the first sweep, that lizards and roaches run hither-and-thither from-and-to every nook and corner of the room. "Bloody d***heads... Didn't I ask you all to leave?"

After 3 years of our stay here; dunno what's got into our owner's head. All of a sudden, the bathroom floors are being tiled; the leaking faucets are being fixed; the floors are being scrubbed; the house is being painted, and we have been burdened with the task of cleaning up after them. No one will need a landmark to reach our house anymore. It itself has become a landmark. "Oh.. The house where the 4 sweet boys stay? Its the one that's painted flourescent yellow, with dashes of orange... You won't miss it even if you have your eyes wide shut..." I sometimes stand in our balcony, and the girls from the PG opposite, keep staring at me gawky-eyed. It took a while for me to register that they weren't admiring me, but the way our house stood out amongst the rest. Like bold dashes of paint on a clean canvas.

It's been close to 7 years that I have been living with my friends. They have been my family outside home; and have come to become an integral part of me. One left to the US today; and the other will journey to London in a couple of days. And as I ready myself to disembark from this stage and step into another, I find myself becoming a loner. Someone told me once, "I think your friends make you so complete that you have never found the necessity for a companion in your life." Maybe its rightly so... That I should journey these few days alone. Maybe its rightly so... That I should learn to live a life without them... to give up this life of noncommitance...

As I part, I have this memory of us sitting on the stone steps of the stadium; eyeing the doe-eyed high-jumper. Its twilight and the moon is bright, glistening on our sweaty foreheads... There is a calm breeze, that feels like the touch of an angel... Everyone laughs... and I have a wide smile on my face... wide as the valley of Leh.

The Beauty and The Beast

Nay... This isn't a fairy tale or something... though some do indeed believe that am pretty good at spinning a yarn... ;o) This is about reality... How an irresponsible, druggy-eye-looking, tongue-wagging, sweating, wild-beast is moving into a social relationship.

Someone please save her !!!!!

*knock* *knock*
Who's there???
It's I... Rithish... It's my birthday... You asked me to remind you... remember???
oh.. well.. yeah... thanks bub... now lose yourself...
*slam*

Well !!! In stark contrast to most years, there is an overwhelming wealth of wishes flowing in this time. It could be 'cos -

1. my friends-list has grown in number.
2. my old friends have somehow managed to remember my birthday this year.
3. everyone is using the latest in birthday reminders (aka orkut).

I will force myself to believe it's the former two, and not the latter as it goes well in pumping my ego. ;o) I am one shy of thirty now (I know.. I know.. But I look and act as if am just outta college), but somehow can't get myself to believe that I will be entering middle-age next year. geez... Isn't there any difference? Maybe there is... Maybe not... I will tell you in a decade... I will know by then...

There is another who shares a birthday with me... none other than my vroomer... My bike turns two today (I know॥ I know.. But he looks brand new)। Guess his secret is that he likes taking women for a ride.. **pun unintended**

Today is one of those days in the year, that I contemplate the days gone by... and myriad thoughts flow... remember the people who have helped me be effervescent... and those whom I would love kicking in the face (I know॥ I know.. am a sadist)। Today is one of those days that come what may, you will not be able to wipe that silly grin off my face... :o)

Mate... How will I wish you, if you don't remind me about your birthday??? And how can I congratulate you, if I don't know where you are joining???

I am joining MPhasis next month and this is going to be my last week in Tally (I know.. I know.. you feel like ramming a brick down my throat). I completed four years in Tally on the 17th of March... four years... four wonderful years... It has been a great journey till now... the wind is in the sails... the sea is calm ahead... the horizon beckons... and so I continue...

I have six honest serving men, who taught me all I know. they are - Who, What, When, Why, Where and How.