Not even in my wildest dreams had I conceived of this... That I would have to line my body into such physical exertions; called exercise. I had banked so much on my metabolism to keep me fit and in good shape; irrespective of my cannibalistic habits; and so it had done faithfully for as long, that it had to be the growing flab around my waist that had to bring me back on earth.. I guess everything has a limit of its own...

Not that am worried about my physical appearance; that's the least I am bothered of.. But it's my slow inability to fit into my clothes, and my unwillingness to invest in a new wardrobe, that has made me take into jogging. Whatever be the excuse, it has made me admire the beauty of mornings even more...

The light drizzle kissing your cheeks; the wind beating against your chest; and singing through your hair; the trees laying a soft bed of flowers to tread on...

O Mornings... I love Thee...

When I woke up this morning, the sky was covered with clouds... but only for a moment.. Soon the Sun pushed all in front of him to bestow his rays on his most cherished son.... He for one knew what an important day this is...

And what a day this has been.. Left home even before the cock doodled, played a cricket tournament, returned home with a burnt ego.. Gee... What a novel way to celebrate a birthday...

You folks cannot take a hint even if it is hit pat on your face. Can you?? I sent you all a mail a coupla weeks back of my contact details, with my address in bold. Why in the name of holy shit do you think I did that?? And to think I did not get even a single present by post. Sheesh... You disappoint me...

Now I will tell you what to do... Get out that diary of yours, and earmark the 28th of March as "THE BIRTH OF THE PRODIGAL MAN".

;--)

There are a lotta things that kill me. I mean, not that dagger-in-the-heart sorta kill; nor even that sorta where I went to this movie once, and this hero and his momma, dad, dog and caterpillar kill ya with their well of tears. Not to mention this six fingered bro' of his who breaks into a salsa at the drop a hat...whatwuzisname?? I had it somewhere here... Broshan... Croakshun... or something... aha.. Got it.. Roshan... I knew it had something to do with "roast chicken"..

My cannibalistic friends runnamile at the mention of chicken nowadays... They say its flu. I had always opined it was polio. The legs always looked kinda short to me.. Legs are something that catch my attention quite naturally. But there was this friend of mine who had this thing for belly buttons. Whenever he saw a naked belly, he would go downa his knees, aim, "tishkaoooo..", blow the smoke from his gun, and say "BULL'S EYE !!!" He even got a black eye to show for it. That killed me.. It really did... Now.. that was the kinda KILL i wuz talkin' about...

Somma my friends were real Martians... They really were... They were simply outta this world.. Yeah..That's why I said they were Martians... They even had thoughts of making a shirt with a toad on it...

I had this another friend of mine who was trying in vain to bring doctory and engineering together.. He was studying Biomedical Engineering.. He was barred from the chemlab, simply 'coz it existed no more... He was a pyromaniac.. He had razed it to the ground.. He was also barred from the Med Lab.. I will tell you that.. It might killya as much it did me... This chum'omine was to peel the skin of a toad, and show it to class.. Peel the skin, he did.. But the toad was still alive,and it jumped straight 'n right into the innerwear of the girl in front... Clever toad.... It bloody well knew where to kiss... My friend, to his misfortune was also the captain of the college cricket team...and his Jonty Rhodes like instincts lead his hands right after the jumping toad... He too got a black eye to show for it ...

Black eyes were never a rareity to my friends in their tenure in college.. There was this one time, in spring time, we had just joined college, my friend was being ragged by the seniors... "Look at my balls..." she said.. He did... and POW... another black eye... " I meant my eyeballs... you rascal.." That's another that kills me... Ya never know what they ever mean... The girls.. I mean.. I knew this girl who would call me a moron if I didnt read much into what she said, and call me a moron if I read much into what she said... Geezz.. Must be pretty tough on ya Valentino guys out there..

I spent my Valentine Day with Suzanne till late in the night.. Suzy is so nice.. neither demanding... nor craving for attention, but ever willing to give herself to me whenever I ask her to. Contrary to the normal killing, Suzy keeps me alive when I am down by floating in front of my eyes like a screensaver revealing her supple body.

Suzanne... is what I have christened my m/c in office.

Had been to the Bryan Adams' show... After making us wait for endless hours and taking us through the pains of listening to a band, which did not know its drums from its bongo, we were finally treated to some great music. Most of the music did come from the audience though.. The crowd sang more than Bryan.. So much so that, he even turned the mike towards the crowd... 30000 capacity.. wow... and not so wow.. my feet were trampled were like mushrooms...

;D

Those good ol' days..... We are waiting for the bus at the stop.... A lean man comes on his scooter... Seeing him, all turn the other way in embarassment. The man stops in front of the group... hits a salaam, and goes his way... and.. why not.. my friends had made him enough business to last him and his heirs 3 generations down, a small fortune... Meet Ramu... the
local toddy shop owner... Not Scotch, not brandy, nor whisky... those are for the light hearted... used to say my chums... but toddy... was the real mardon ka drink... so much so that, it had become the order of the day.... One would not enter the classroom without visiting Ramu's shop once.... Halappa, our college peon, used to have a hell of a time convincing our lecturers that the stench that was emanating was not from the loo outside... but from the class within...


You might have noticed that my previous mails used to have helluva mistakes... blame it on the keyboard folks... it had never been cleaned after it had been bought.. that would be 3 years and upwards... so.. last weekend, my friend and I decided to do what we assumed would be a menial chore.... and you have to believe me when I say... you would not have found more dirt even if you picked the nose and ears of a 1000 men and women.... pollution bahoot bad gayeli hai re...


Had been to Goa for Christmas... Had a whale of a time...The pics came out good too... Will upload them soon as I find enough dough for them... Went like Kings.. and returned as paupers... booked a Qualis for the trip... just the 5 of us... Goa looked as if it was not in India... saw more foreigners than Indians... and saw a lot MORE of them... ;D stayed in a -ve 3 star hotel... played soccer on the beach... India(ians) vs. Italy(ians)... lost miserably... played water polo and almost got drowned.. went so out we could nearly have been shark biscuit.. got my skin tanned like a rhino... ate like a horse... slept like a log... sweat like a pig... 4 days... Dil Chahta Hai style... ended up losing 3 kgs... Had a whale of a time..


Kalhi ek picture dekha... no.. that's not the name of the movie.. watched a kannada one for a change... balcony tickets at the rate of the Gandhi class in hindi movies... empty theatres... the luxury of putting your feet up on the seat ahead... watching heroines with 38 inch waists gyrating their stuff.... and heroes who don't match up to the under of your shoe, running round trees..... butter popcorn during the interval that smell of vanaspati... coffee that tastes like water... and coke like Sprite... ads that age upto 1942.... fans 2 inches above your head...
moving so fast, that with fear you move onto the seat ahead... coir cushioned seats that tickle your bottom.... and overall..... 3 hours of emotionless entertainment... what more could one ask for??


Life has been Great !!!